So it's been over a year....

And a lot has changed!! I decided that the veterinary field is no longer for me, I was in it for the love of pets and had to euthanize waaayyyyy too many animals that were unwanted and it brought me down to the point of hating my job. I bounced around in a couple dif. fields and have settled in childcare, although there is NO money in it, I love getting to care for, play with and love all the babies and toddlers at our center. I will be starting online classes in September to get my CDA and I'm very excited about it, and feel very lucky that I work with an EXCELLENT center director who has been very understanding with life situations and is paying for all of my additional training and schooling including my STARS and yes, the CDA.

Ben and I are currently expecting our first daughter, she is due October 18Th and will be named Taylor Paige Johnson, I'm very excited to take on the mommy role and can't wait for her arrival! I don't like being pregnant however, so I don't have any plans on getting pregnant again for quite some time.

Lets see, what else is new.... Oh yes, last October I quit smoking!! Woohoo ::pats self on back:: although I still have the occasional stress induced craving I have done very well and had no slip ups. I don't seem to "save" any money since I've quit and I'm not sure where I found the money in the first place!!

Money, it sucks. Lets just say that this year has been the most challenging year financially for Ben and myself... The economy has a lot to do with his pay and has had a very VERY negative affect on his pay and the livelihood of the company, we are hoping that business will again pick up, but until then we are going to do the best we can for ourselves and our daughter.

Getting Older

i have come to the sudden realization that high school friends must be only that, just for high school, of course im not a hundred percent sure yet, but im pretty positive. as teens grow into adults and begin to start their own lives they suddenly find their own interests and their own way of life, which is to be expected, we were being prepared for this to happen since day 1 of high school. what i was not prepared for however, is the sudden loss of friendship simply due to the new interests/way of life of others. it is slightly puzzling and very strange to me, but a very noticable part of getting older. now maybe its not so much a "loss" of friendship so much as an intense drift.... im not sure, but whatever it is i dont think anyone is ever prepared for it. i cant help but wonder what else will change as more time goes on, as we all get older. will we even recognize people we spent years with in high school 5 or 10 years down the road while waiting in line at the grocery store or getting fuel? it seems silly too me for us all to allow this "parting" to happen, however it almost seems inevitable with little means of prevention.

So it's been a while...

So I def. need to update, May 24th was our wedding, it went GREAT!! The weather was nice and we had a blast! We went to Wyoming for a week and it was AWESOME!!! I can't wait until someday when we can move there! I'll be 21 in 13 days! Woop woop! Can't wait! I'm currently working at the Micheals warehouse in Centrailia and LOVE it, I finally know why I hated most previous jobs, I HAVE too keep moving, or I get so damn bored it's not worth it too me. So that's about it, just wanted to update!!!

Gettin Hitched!!!

So Ben and I are gettin married tomorrow at 2!!! I'm sooooooo excited!!! Mostly, I'm excited to have Ben as my husband :) :) but, I'm also EXTREMELY excited to be done with all this planning and running around like crazy person, lol! I can't wait to finally be married to Ben!! We also can't wait to start our own family! Of course we're going to hold off on that until we are financially stable, but we are def. taking the biggest step in begining our family :)

Communication is Key

So of course we all know that communication is key to any successful relationship, today I had the best example of this. I just can't believe that people will just lose their entire relationships knowing that it takes maintinence, communication, and sometimes a lot of hard work! I couldn't imagine what that would even be like, it's like they just give up unknowingly, it's really sad too me. I'm glad to say that the example I had in front of me did reconcile, but it took me stepping in and just helping (mediating really) them get through the issues they had left untouched for long enough to cause some stress and alot of hard feelings. They were on the brink of talking divorce when I had gotten the call from my friend at about 4pm, by 8pm we had gone over the issues and everything went back to peaceful again in their home. It really does amaze me how much people will forget to communicate with their sig. other, and they generally don't realize how much they are risking until its close to being too late. Just thought I would share that with you all and remind you to always ALWAYS keep up communication, it is key.

suicide

Someone I knew committed suicide this last weekend, its saddening, angering and a big slap of reality all at the same time. I didn't know him well, I didn't know him long either, but it still hits harder then one would ever think possible. When one hears of a person commiting suicide, we usually say oh thats sad, but when you have a face to place it too, someone who you've spoken to and joked with, its 10x worse. It proves that you never really know until it happens, he was a fun lovin guy who seemed happy go lucky all the time. He was only 19 and had so much life left to live, so many experiences left to die with him. It makes you feel like there had to be something you missed, like there was something so obvious that it should have smacked you in the face, but there was nothing, and it cost him his life. I dont know what was going through his mind or why someone would rather end their life, but it really needs to be said that there is not enough awareness about depression and suicide. I dont know exactly how to feel right now, but its hard.

My Conflicting Blogs

Okay, so I know my blogs seem to be very conflicting in my opinions (animal cruelty-death row). The thing is, when I see something or hear of something that is wrong in my mind I pretty much just go OFF! I'm very VERY opinionated, and don't generally care who I offend!

I definitely think animal cruelty in no form is acceptable. Killing animals simply for their fur or your own "pleasure" is ridiculous and sickening!

I think it's NOT okay for prison inmates to have the right to complain about anything, especially when many of them live better on our tax dollars then many of us who work for a living.

I think it's crap that Americans have decided that "chain gangs" are cruel and unusual punishment, why not put these criminals to work?!? We all have to work for what we have, they just do something illegal and get free housing, meals, t.v., gym equipment, etc.? I think it's completely absurd! Make them work for what they get, and DON'T give them all the extras like t.v., Internet, gym equipment! Why should they deserve all the extras that many Americans can't afford?!?

I am ALL for the death sentence, although in my mind, the criminals who have earned it, should suffer the same fate as their victims! They get off to easily, an injection execution, for example, is NOTHING compared to what their victims went through!

Inmates on Death Row

So with the legal fights against the death penalty and lethal injection, I feel that it's important to voice MY opinion! First, I honestly don't think ANYONE in prison should have a damn opinion about this, they are locked up, away from society for a REASON, they are unfit to be apart of a normal society, so what gives them the RIGHT to have an opinion? Second, why the hell should we care if the lethal injection is so called "cruel and unusual punishment" or "painful"? I'm sorry, but I was under the impression that you were on DEATH ROW! What the fuck? Should I feel sorry for these sick bastards that have committed murder, rape, torture and other henious crimes against another human being? I DONT THINK SO! People who murder and rape should be shot in the head, point blank. Why the FUCK should WE allow the government to spend OUR tax dollars too keep these bastards alive? It's not right, I'd gladly pay for bullets, but we spend so much FUCKING money on keeping these people alive, why? So they can fight the penalty they deserve? I honestly think lethal injection is OVERLY humane for theses people, they don't deserve that kind of death, they should have to suffer the same fate their victims did! And people wonder why society has gone to shit, people get a fucking slap on the wrist for commiting these crimes. What about their victims, don't they DESERVE justice!?!? And, you have these people trying to apose the death penalty! I'm sorry, but how fucking ridiculous! I am ALL FOR it! I don't want my HARD EARNED money going to keep these fuckers alive, they don't deserve to live!

So Done! What Now?

So I quit my job on Friday, and I feel alot better, like a HUGE weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, I'm done with the stress, caddyness, and the bullshit! YAY! But now I have to find a new job, preferably making a hell of alot more money. The thing is, the field I use to LOVE and have the most experience in, I don't want to work in anymore. The last clinic I worked at, made me actually hate what I do!! It's sooooooo frustrating, 3 months ago I couldn't see myself doing anything else, and now..... I don't know, I never knew that working at one place for just a short period of time could completely change the way you look at your profession! I mean I use to LOVE veterinary medicine.... it's so sad.

Photography, Again

These are some of the best places to be.

Far from the cities and streets, quiet and calm.

Photography

Pure joy is finding simple beauty amongst so much destruction.

I absolutly love to take pictures!

I will be uploading more when I have the time.

money, or lack there of and the reason...

okay, so first off, i went to school to do what i do for a living and was told i would make about 5 bucks more an hour then i am now, that was suposed to be starting out. after school was over and done with i discovered a much different truth...... i will forever be broke!!! then, today i was looking at the ads on craigslist, and apparently if i were to work in kirkland, i would be making about 20 bucks an hour!!!! so im highly irritated at this point.... most walmart workers start out making more then i do! its absolutly ridiculous! (no offense to those who work for walmart). and everyone keeps telling me, go back to school, get a step further, when i wont even have my current student loans paid off for another 3 years!!!! and, i cant afford not to work full time, so basically im just venting, i blame society.

The Golden Compas

Okay, so I just read a bulletin on myspace that my dear friend Kristen posted about the movie "The Golden Compas" and as much as I do love her, I have to say that her bulletin was extremely irritating too me.
Bulletin:
I will admit that when I first saw the previews for The Golden Compass it looked like it could be an interesting movie. Deep down though...something just didnt seem right, and I then heard there was controversy surrounding the movie so I decided to see what it was. I was shocked. The Golden Compass is orginated from a book written by an atheist. It is an attack from the enemy trying to steer children away from believing in God and seeing him as a mean cruel dictator who plays games with the lives of people. It is Anti-church and Anti-Christian, and it looks innocent but it is deeply seeded in athiest Anti-God themes. Please read the following from FOXnews.com" The movie, “The Golden Compass,” is adapted from the first novel in a trilogy called “His Dark Materials” by English author Philip Pullman, an outspoken atheist. Critics fear that the film, due out in December, will encourage children to read the anti-Church series.""These books denigrate Christianity, thrash the Catholic Church and sell the virtues of atheism," said Bill Donohue, president and CEO of the Catholic League.The film itself is unlikely to offend — because New Line Cinema has tried to keep religion out of it, focusing on the story of a little girl named Lyra and her journey within a strange, parallel universe."The anti-religious themes get progressively stronger with each book in the trilogy; in the final installment, the characters succeed in killing a character called God — who turns out to be a phony, and not God after all. The series has soared to the top of bestseller lists in the U.K. and other countries but has not caught on in the United States.Pullman has not been shy in the past about verbalizing his beliefs — or, some might say, nonbeliefs — and his intentions in writing the "Dark Materials" novels.The novelist has said they are in response to C.S. Lewis' "The Chronicles of Narnia," the popular children's fantasy series of which "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" is the first book — written by Lewis to teach Christian ideals to kids."I loathe the 'Narnia' books," Pullman has said in previous press interviews. "I hate them with a deep and bitter passion, with their view of childhood as a golden age from which sexuality and adulthood are a falling away." He has called the series "one of the most ugly and poisonous things" he's ever read.In spite of complaints about the forthcoming film, Pullman fans and atheists are still excited about the exposure it will give his novels. They say the American literary market is sorely lacking material for those who don't believe in God, and they scoff at the idea that the series is hazardous to children."Philip Pullman and I would say it is religion that poisons everything," said Annie Laurie Gaylor, co-president of the atheist advocacy group the Freedom From Religion Foundation, and a co-host of Freethought Radio, a talk show that recently went national on Air America Radio.

Okay, now that you've read that, I honestly think that if a person is too be so persuaded by religon and others opinions its somewhat niave. I understand that many people are raised to be 100% against anything that may even be drawn ever so slightly by atheism, but come on! It says right there in her posted bulletin that it is not religous in context! If people can draw a great story that wont offend people from something that would, what's the harm in that!?!?! I personally think it's very narrow minded to act based on anothers opinion, especially on something like this! Not only that, but too ME, this is trying to shove ones own religion and believes-however un-original- down MY throat!!!

Thank GOD we aren't all like that, for their would never be an original thought or idea, how fucking boring!!!!!

people make me vomit, LITERALLY

so today i saw the most horrible video from you-tube that showed animals literally being skinned alive, it made me so upset! there we're dogs, cats, wild cats, puppies and kittens, these poor animals were often tied by the neck to a fence or the top a cage and either strangled to death or skinned alive, there was even a poor dog who was completely skinned aside from his feet and paw pads, he was then thrown into the back of a pick up truck, still alive and suffering, on other poor animals that had suffered the same fate. in one scene a puppy was being skinned while the man was standing on his neck and the animal was crying in pain the entire time until the man literally stomped on his head crushing his skull. there were so many scenes of cruelty it made me literally sick enough that i had to run out of the room. the fact that people can actually be so inhumane makes me absolutly disgusted with mankind. the fact that other people are willing to buy and wear these fur's as if it makes them better some how is horrid. everybody knows that fake fur is produced with out hurting animals and def. not skinning them alive, and yet they would rather this happen. i honestly would not want these types of people around me and i personally do not feel that it is safe for them to be out in society, i mean if they are heartless enought to torture animals, what else would they do? rape? murder?

to start

So I'm not really sure how to use Blogger yet, so bare with me here. My cousin Raechelle who is in Azerbiajan with the peace corps is the only reason I even knew this exsisted, so I got an acount to keep better contact with her. I'm 20 years old and about to get married to the GREATEST guy EVER-obviously or I wouldn't be marrying him! I'm a vet tech so I get to play with animals all day, however, it's def. NOT all fun and games, in fact, most of it is not. But I like it well enough. I love the summer time!! I love the outdoors and coffee. I love the snow! I can't stand when it's freezing ass cold but there is no snow!!! In my opinion, if it's going to be that damn cold it should at least be enjoyable!!! Well I think that's it for now.